January 15th, 2009
So, when I first moved out to California I could not help but think what shitty drivers everyone here is! When it rains, it is the end of the world. No one knows how to drive in it. If there is traffic, you go one mile an hour, if there is no traffic you go 80mph bumper to bumper!
The worst offense by all Californians is the California Roll. I have a stop sign in front of my house and love to count the people who actually stop. Out of 50 cars the other day, only 2 stopped for even a second. Everyone else either blasts through like there was no stop sign at all, or they barely slow and then plow through. The worst part? Cops constantly blow the same stop sign!
What is it with the California roll? Is there any point in stopping all the way when you see all is clear? The driving out here used to REALLY bother me until just recently. I went home to Chicago for Christmas and had the pleasure of driving in Ice Storms, Sleet Storms, Hail Storms, Blizzards, and Rain. In California I am widely known as a very cautious driver. Most my friends comment on how safe they feel in my car. I have actually grown a bit cocky with it.
So, one day while driving around the good old South Suburb of Joliet, IL…I got a wake up call. I stopped at a stop sign and turned the corner. Suddenly cherries and blueberries lit up my back window. I pulled over and waited for the cop to approach me in the sleet (it was REALLY coming down). “What’s the problem officer?” I asked. “Liscence and Registration?” he answered. As I fished it out of the glovebox, the officer informed me that I had just performed a nice California Roll.Right after he said it, he took a look at my California drivers lisence and laughed. “I guess where you are from that would be considered a full stop, huh?” He asked me. I told him how I am made fun of for driving like a cautious grandma, and he gave me back my paperwork and told me staying in joliet might brush my skills back up. I paid close attention to all my stops after that, and sure as shit…I hardly stopped. It would be considered a full stop in Cali, but not anywhere else in the country.
I am turning into a shitty Califonia Driver.
I guess I am a Califonia Roller too.
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